Dating a Spaniard

The wonderful Kaley of Y Mucho Más recently interviewed me about my relationship with my Spanish novio. Check out her article here! And if you want to find out how in the world the Novio and I manage, I actually wrote up a list of how we keep the romance going even from across the Atlantic.

The Art of LDRs

Today I decided to tackle an issue that some couples will face: the dreaded separation and move into a long-distance relationship. I think this might particularly salient for those future auxiliares who will be leaving a boy/girlfriend behind in the States in their pursuit of the European adventure. It might also be an issue for anyone who plans on going to college at a different school than his/her significant other.

"But Nicole," you might be saying, "who in the world made you an expert in LDRs?" Well, I'm not an expert, nor do I pretend to be. But I have been in a trans-Atlantic relationship for quite a bit now, so that gives me a bit of experience, if not expertise.

But let's back up and look at the Nic Sparknotes: while I was abroad, I met a boy through a mutual family friend. While we had never before then, we had heard quite a bit about each other. Over time we grew closer, and after many long discussions on the topic, we decided to start dating, even though we knew that I would be heading back to the States eventually.

Once I came back to the States, we kept our relationship going. Frankly, LDRs are not easy. There's not much of a chance of you going on actual dates, no physical contact of any kind, and in our case, we were in completely different time zones. But it is possible to make it work! Here are some ideas to keep the romance going even from a distance.

1. Send care packages

My Novio and I stumbled upon this one rather than deliberately planning to do so. It just so happened that my birthday rolled around about a month after we separated, and he decided to send me a package full of presents for it. I sent him one in return. Since then, we send each other one large packet every month. There's no need to spend loads of money on the content of the package, but make sure you put things that have some sort of meaning. We like to keep things interesting by making our packages themed. My very first package to Novio was America themed, so I sent him loads of things that aren't found in Spain: Nerds candy, Cool Ranch Doritos, cupcake mix, etc. Ideas for themes include: holidays, a specific color, a specific letter, seasons, childhood.

2. Surprise each other for the holidays

It's really easy to get sad or bitter (or both) during the holidays when you and your SO (significant other) have to spend it apart. So surprise each other! The Novio and I spent our very first Valentine's apart, but by no means did that mean we couldn't celebrate. I had already sent him a package that was Valentine's themed without telling him, but he definitely won the surprise challenge. He managed to contact one of my best friends, MB, and plotted with her to get me flowers in addition to my Valentine's package. He even made sure they were in my favorite color! Utilize your resources: friends, parents, classmates. It doesn't have to be extravagant, but again make it a thoughtful surprise :)

3. Use a webcam

In this day and age, I feel like everyone has one, but if you don't, you should! It's a great way to actually see each other and remember the smaller details of their appearance. Skype has been a huge lifesaver for us! Arrange a set day (or days) to call each other on Skype. We've found that Sundays are usually a good day, along with one more day during the week. It's also a great way to see each other for important days such as birthdays, Valentine's, anniversaries, etc. Skype is completely free as is Google hangouts. Google hangouts even lets you draw or play games while you talk!

4. Find a way to stay connected throughout the day

If you live in the same country as someone, this won't be too hard: a good text messaging plan can easily take care of this. For overseas romance though, you'll have to get creative. If both of you have iPhones, iMessage will work as long as both of you have data/wifi capabilities. Another option (and the one I prefer) is What'sApp. Last time I checked, it's free in the Apple App Store, but there is a version for Androids as well. This works just like regular text messaging, and it has the capabilities to send pictures and videos as well. Viber (free on the app store) allows you to send free texts and make free calls as long as the other person has the app as well. Voxer works more like a walkie-talkie and is also free. You could also consider Google Voice, but this most likely won't be free.

5. Watch something together

Watching something together will allow you two to bond over something. It can be a tv show, a movie, or even a YouTube video. The Novio and I first came across this idea when we were debating the merits of our respective tv shows. Ultimately, I convinced him to watch an episode of Downton Abbey (my favorite show on tv at the moment) in exchange for me watching an episode of Game of Thrones (his current favorite). He ended up watching Downton all the way through, and it was nice to have someone to discuss the plot twists and dramas with. I have yet to watch GoT all the way through, but I have promised I would so I'll be dedicating quite a bit of summer to that. For something that requires less time commitment, share your favorite YouTube videos with each other!

6. Ask each other random questions

This one might seem silly, but I promise it can get highly amusing! Asking each other questions can help you learn more about each other and the way you think. Of course, you can go with the more traditional route and ask relatively normal questions (favorite color, favorite movie, favorite Disney character, favorite Harry Potter character, etc). The Novio and I have never been quite normal though, so we go with more ridiculous questions. We're a big fan of "what if..." questions, but we also like ones like "If you were candy, what candy would you be?" Get creative! If you're stumped, this list might be a good place to start.

7. Document your daily life through pictures

This one is my personal favorite. Throughout the day, the Novio and I send each other pictures as a sort of documentary of our respective lives. If I go to eat at a restaurant with some of my girlfriends, I'll take a picture of my friends and provide their names, and I'll make sure to get a good picture of a meal. If he goes on vacation to see his grandparents, he'll take a picture of all the places he's at and explains what I'm looking at. Think of it as your couples photo album. It keeps you both aware of what's going on in the other's life and learn more about their life in their respective location.

8. Take advantage of snail mail

With all the technology out now, it's not very often that people send things through the regular postal service. Personally, there's nothing quite like receiving a handwritten letter though. Write your feelings and thoughts out on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, and send it their way! It's such a nice surprise to get it in the mail, and there's something special about seeing his/her feelings written out for you to see and go back to whenever you want.

9. Play games together...sort of

We do this one on Skype A LOT. Of course, you'll have things to update each other on, but make sure your Skype dates don't get monotonous by playing games with each other. Obviously it'll be a bit difficult to play board games, but there are plenty of online games you can play. We really enjoy playing Never Have I Ever to see who the real BAMF in our relationship is.

10. Share music together

In your time apart, there is bound to be new music that comes up. If you're both in different countries, chances are that music popular in that country may not completely overlap with music that's popular in your country. If there's a new tune you've been jamming out to, share it with your SO. Turns out he/she may end up really liking the song (as happened with us and Radioactive by Imagine Dragons)!


LDRs are not easy, and it will be difficult. However, if both of you are committed to making it work, it can be done. This list is just a basic sampling of what can be done, but if anyone else has any other suggestions, leave it in the comments below! And of course, if you're struggling with an LDR, don't give up hope. There's plenty of people out there (myself included) who have been through it before and are more than willing to lend a shoulder to cry on and offer advice!

xx, Nic

Friday Five

I'm going to be 100% honest here: I am the absolute worst at updating blogs. I once fell 7 weeks behind in Sevilla and spent a whole night catching everyone up. Casual. This is an attempt to remedy the situation. Welcome to Friday Five, where each Friday I will attempt to actually post 5 main highlights of the week. Think of it like SNL's Weekend Update. Except probably less focused on celebrities, the news, and things that would usually be considered important. And probably less frequent in the summer, since there won't be as much going on (I promise I'll do it weekly in the fall!).

Let's do this, then.

1. This week marks the last full week that one of my oldest and dearest friends, SC, will be at home. While we first met in the sixth grade through a mutual friend, our friendship really started off when we spent the entire day together on our eighth grade trip to Islands of Adventure. We went to high school together and never had any classes, but we rode together before and after school and were still great friends. We ended up at different colleges, but we always plan on date time when we're home for a break. SC and I both applied to the NALCA program to teach in Spain, but ultimately we've both decided to deviate from that. I, obviously, went with CIEE's program instead, while SC has just recently been offered a job in Texas. Tomorrow is her goodbye party, and I am so incredibly sad to see her go so far, but this girl is destined for big things, trust me.

2. Today also marks my 7th month anniversary with my boyfriend. It might not seem like a lot, but given our circumstances, we're really impressed with ourselves. Long-distance relationships are by no means easy, but we've been extremely lucky to have had a good go of it. We'll be celebrating by having a Skype date. Can't wait till we can have a real date again! :)

PS. no one ever mention this picture is on here, because my boyfriend a) does not like taking pictures and when I finally convinced him he b) blinked. Typical.

3. Today, I wrote a check for $24 and sent off a Criminal Background Check request form to the state of Florida. According to multiple sources (including the FL Dept. of Law Enforcement site), the State does not require fingerprints in order to conduct the check unless there's someone with similar information. Considering I'm probably the only person in the US with my particular name, I'm going to guess I don't need it. I could use those $5 for the Apostille anyway. I'll keep y'all updated on how long it takes me to get it back!

4. As I mentioned a bit earlier, I actually applied to two different Language and Culture Assistant programs: one that's through the Spanish Ministry of Education and the one offered by CIEE. I received word from CIEE's acceptance in March and got my placement about two weeks ago. I was accepted to the Ministry one as well, but placement for that one was a long while away because it's first come, first served, and I had a high application number. Some people who did the program last year even told me not to expect a placement before July or August at the earliest (!). Well, looks like the Ministry is on a roll because I received my placement today...and I also was placed in Madrid. Except I've already accepted with CIEE so oops. Perhaps I'll dedicate a future post as to why I chose CIEE over the Ministry program.

5. Even though I've spent 4 years off in college in another state, I'm still not 100% able to care for myself. Specifically, while I can bake, I'm rather lacking in the cooking department. Luckily, there's Pinterest. When I move to Madrid I intend on finding a flat near my school (which luckily for me is also near the city center), but I'm not sure I'll have a roommate or not. Don't get me wrong, I had a roommate all four years in college, but I kind of like the idea of living on my own. I've yet to do it and I'm going to have to do it eventually most likely. Since I can't rely on a roommate anyway, I've been going crazy on Pinterest with recipes and craft ideas to decorate my "new" flat. These recipes in particular look delicious. Now I'm just hoping I find all the ingredients in Spain...

*Note: these posts will not always include pictures, but I'll try to. It definitely makes it look more entertaining and eye-catching. Plus, I know I'm definitely drooling over those quesadillas.

Happy Friday everyone!